Friends withOUT Benefits

Playin Out

This week we’ll be playing out at The Uncommon Ground Open Mic on Tuesday Night. Last week Lex was chasing a kiss, so we took the week off.

Priorities! Don’t get me wrong, I have every intention of touring with this band and making music our life but you cannot put the trajectory of your life ahead of a kiss. When I look back, if I had to give my younger-self any advice it’d be this: seek-out rejection.

It’s amazing how much I held myself back by letting something that didn’t go my way define my identity. It’s amazing who we give power, how easily we relinquish authority, who gets to star in the history books.

The reason I’d seek-out rejection is to teach myself to get over it quickly. I’d tell myself to feel as crappy as you want: pout, throw a pity party, do something self-destructive to feel sexy and then do a bunch of push-ups.

This week at rehearsal, we did a deck of cards. In case you’re wondering what in the Hell I mean by that, here’s the deal: we broke out a deck of cards, and whatever card came up, that’s how many push-ups you had to do between songs. If it was a Queen it was 12. If it was a King it was 13. If it was a Joker, the other guy got to pick any amount of push-ups between 1 and 25. I picked a Joker and Lex assigned me 10. Lex picked a Joker and I assigned him 11. I didn’t want to be too much of a dick. Not yet!

Lex was feeling crabby. The dating world was getting him down, which is pretty much what the dating world does to everyone. Typically, before we get down to playing music, we meet up for a cup of coffee on Saturday. I watched Lex beat himself up. I understand the nightmare of figuring out your game in the dating world. But somewhere in the middle of his pity party, I was reminded of the deck of cards. I suggested it to Lex, and to his credit, he jumped right in.

It was the most energy I can remember either one of us bringing to a rehearsal. The next day we met up for another rehearsal, something we don’t do all too often, back-to-back rehearsals. I suggested another round of push-ups. Lex sent me a link about lactic acid and the need for rest.

Sometimes it’s rest. Sometimes it’s a kiss. And tomorrow night, it’s an open mic. If you don’t continue putting yourself out there, if you don’t learn how to get up quickly after getting knocked on your ass, you’re never gonna open for Mike Doughty.

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